So sitting near the altar in the church today is a chrystal bowl filled with ashes and anointing oil. It is the remenant of Ash Wednesday Services in which we as the church remember the imminent reality of death. The reality that one day, in accordance with God's will, God will call all of us to himself to give an accounting of our lives.
How thankful I am to be alive in Christ no matter what happens. To rest solely in the grace he has afforded me in the cross. This places me in a situation of utter need and complete helplessness. Abandonement of self and ability before God. Only he can save me, only his mercy remains.
From dust you came, to dust you shall return. Repent and believe the gospel.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Monday, August 17, 2009
Try this on for size...
Hey everyone... I thought you might like to check out my latest project. I'm writing a book called, "They Shall Hide Behind God" - It's about the fear that many Christian people face when they come into contact with either change or our culture... this is the first paragraph... the seed from which I hope a mighty literary tree will form. I hope you like it:
THE WAR WITHIN -- In 1863 Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote his famous poem, “Christmas Bells”. It was a poem that would later be put to music and sung as a Christmas Carol detailing the deep inner struggle of the author. On one hand, the ringing church bells echo with the peaceful message of Christmas, on the other clamoring just as loudly and begging for attention is the violence of the world. Despite the constancy of the Christian message, and the continual reminders brought on by “a voice, a chime, a chant sublime, of peace on Earth good will to men” the author finds the promise the Christ failing in the face of the cruel realities of war.
THE WAR WITHIN -- In 1863 Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote his famous poem, “Christmas Bells”. It was a poem that would later be put to music and sung as a Christmas Carol detailing the deep inner struggle of the author. On one hand, the ringing church bells echo with the peaceful message of Christmas, on the other clamoring just as loudly and begging for attention is the violence of the world. Despite the constancy of the Christian message, and the continual reminders brought on by “a voice, a chime, a chant sublime, of peace on Earth good will to men” the author finds the promise the Christ failing in the face of the cruel realities of war.
Sunday, August 09, 2009
Wyoming
Dry
Tall Realities
Stone Epiphanies
Vulture Song and Lonliness
But there's Beer
And Cactus Water
Sours the stomach
So Drink the sand
dirt
gravel
Feast the distant horizon
Starving for a quiet God
Rock will be your prayers
Monday, July 20, 2009
Ten Miles From Normal
If you head South on State Road 13
After you swerve at Swayzee
stopping before the freakshow (Elwood)
You'll arrive at Normal, Indiana.
You always knew normal was in Indiana.
Right next to Gas City.
Cause we all get gas...
What could be more normal than that?
Not alot happens in Normal.
Nothing unusual. Nothing strange.
The houses are grey, the fields are green.
The sky is blue. Unless it rains.
Normal is pervasive. Benign. Mundane.
Everything is typical there.
Exactly what you would expect.
It goes on for ten miles
Twenty ordinary leagues.
A hundred ordinary leagues.
Normal married it's high school sweetheart.
Normal has 2.5 children.
Normal watches American Idol.
It's borders are poorly defined.
But I'm not from around here.
So I'm lonely.
After you swerve at Swayzee
stopping before the freakshow (Elwood)
You'll arrive at Normal, Indiana.
You always knew normal was in Indiana.
Right next to Gas City.
Cause we all get gas...
What could be more normal than that?
Not alot happens in Normal.
Nothing unusual. Nothing strange.
The houses are grey, the fields are green.
The sky is blue. Unless it rains.
Normal is pervasive. Benign. Mundane.
Everything is typical there.
Exactly what you would expect.
It goes on for ten miles
Twenty ordinary leagues.
A hundred ordinary leagues.
Normal married it's high school sweetheart.
Normal has 2.5 children.
Normal watches American Idol.
It's borders are poorly defined.
But I'm not from around here.
So I'm lonely.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Brave New World
So I have a cell phone... a wii, an iPod Touch... I can access facebook at all times and places. I just used Twitter for the first time sending out my first "Tweet". I can type in Koala eating bamboo into YouTube and have video footage of Koalas eating bamboo.. and I remember atari.
My favorite Wii Game is called Wii Music in which I conduct and orchestra and am scored on how well I kept time. I can pretend that I can play any instrument. It's amazing and I am even more asounded by how in just one lifetime, we moved from cursors and pong, to three dimensional game environments.
The world is new... and old simultaneously.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Excerpt: Chris Cleave's Book "Little Bee"
On the girl's brown legs there were many small white scars. I was thinking. Do those scars cover the whole of you, like the stars and moons on your dress? I thought that would be pretty too, and I ask you right here please to agree with me that a scar is never ugly. That is what the scar makers want us to think. But you and I, we must make and agreement to defy them. We must see all scars as beauty. Okay? That will be our secret. Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means, I survived.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
The Boat Didn't Sink--Peter Did
So many times I have heard pastors preach on the topic of Peter walking on the water with Jesus. So many times I have heard that "If you want to get the miracle, you have to get out of the boat." However, we don't seem to notice that Peter is the only person in the story who gets rebuked for a lack of faith. Jesus says nothing to the disciples who remained in the boat but instead lifts Peter from that water and tells him he lacks faith.
It seems that the prevailing way of understanding this passage in our culture is to look on Peter as the hero of the tale. He is after all the one who is doing something. We are an action oriented society. It is the "movers and shakers" that get things done. However is this not a distinctively western reading of the text?
After all, isn't there a sense here that Peter is yet again trying to separate himself from the flock? Trying to be the standout disciple? In our western culture we always praise people for doing rather than being, succeeding, rather than abiding. Though these things are not always mutually exclusive it does seem to me that in Peter's case, a deeper sense of reflection might be in order.
I think if we examine Peter's movements throughout the story of Scripture we will begin to see how the episode on the waters was yet another example of Peter's failure to believe Jesus.
Let's begin with Peter's calling in Luke 5. In Luke 4:38 Jesus heals Peter’s mother in law after preaching in the synagogue and in chapter 5 Peter is coming in from fishing all night. Jesus tells Peter to cast once more into deep water and Peter’s first reaction is to complain. However, he does as Jesus told him and catches a miraculous catch of fish. It is interesting that Jesus, who had already proven himself in healing Peter’s mother in law, is not immediately believed by Peter, but he does obey and receives the blessing of obedience. He sees himself for what he is, a sinful man.
His next lesson comes in the aforementioned boat experience contained in Matthew 14. Jesus comes to the disciples who are traveling on a stormy sea walking on the water. The disciples are afraid that the figure coming through the rain is a ghost. Jesus tells the disciples not to be afraid, that it is he coming to them on the waters. Peter however, has to see it to believe it… “Lord, if it is you, tell me to come to you on the water. “ So Peter walks out on the water, only to sink when the experience overwhelms him. Jesus tell him, “You of little faith…” This is his common refrain whenever the disciples fail to understand or believe what Jesus has to say. (Matthew 6:30, 8:26, 14:31, 16:8)
A mere two chapters later, Jesus asks the disciples, “Who do people say that I am?” Peter responds correctly, “You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God!” Jesus praises Peter and begins to explain what being the Christ means, that he will suffer and die at the hands of sinful men. Peter takes it upon himself to rebuke Jesus and in turn is harshly rebuked by Jesus, “Get thee behind me Satan, you have not the things of God in mind, but the things of men.”
Lest we forget, John 13 and the Last Supper, Jesus washes the disciples feet. It is Peter who tries to stop Jesus. “No Lord, it is I who should be washing your feet!” Jesus has to explain to Peter again that he does not understand. Later in John 18:11 on that same night, it is Peter who draws his sword and strikes the left ear of the temple servant. It is Peter who will deny Jesus three times, slipping into the cold, dark, night. It is Peter who returns home to fishing when he learns Jesus is alive. He has screwed up enough to think that he should be a fisherman; a disciple is too much to wish for.
Why, among all Peter’s failures do we see the episode in the boat as a heroic moment, when Peter is again rebuked for lacking faith in the same way Jesus rebukes his disciples whenever they misunderstand or do the wrong thing? Remember, it was doubt, and not faith that lead Peter to step out onto the waters. “If it is you Jesus…”
So we find Peter, in John 21, hiding out, fishing, until he hears a voice on the seashore. “Cast out on the other side of the boat…” and Peter does without question even though he does not recognize Jesus. Then, after a miraculous catch of fish, the beloved disciple realizes, “It is the Lord.” And Peter, jumps into the water… and swims to shore. This is Peter’s heroic moment on the waters. He’s swimming towards Jesus not out of doubt but out of desire. He eats with Jesus, and then Jesus and Peter walk along the shore. Jesus points to the stuff on the seashore, the boat, the nets, the stinky fish. “Peter do you love me more than these?” Peter confesses his love three times, once for every denial on the night of Jesus’ arrest, and takes his place as a disciple. This is the great lesson: it is not the failures that define this great Apostle; it is the great mercy of his Savior.
It seems that the prevailing way of understanding this passage in our culture is to look on Peter as the hero of the tale. He is after all the one who is doing something. We are an action oriented society. It is the "movers and shakers" that get things done. However is this not a distinctively western reading of the text?
After all, isn't there a sense here that Peter is yet again trying to separate himself from the flock? Trying to be the standout disciple? In our western culture we always praise people for doing rather than being, succeeding, rather than abiding. Though these things are not always mutually exclusive it does seem to me that in Peter's case, a deeper sense of reflection might be in order.
I think if we examine Peter's movements throughout the story of Scripture we will begin to see how the episode on the waters was yet another example of Peter's failure to believe Jesus.
Let's begin with Peter's calling in Luke 5. In Luke 4:38 Jesus heals Peter’s mother in law after preaching in the synagogue and in chapter 5 Peter is coming in from fishing all night. Jesus tells Peter to cast once more into deep water and Peter’s first reaction is to complain. However, he does as Jesus told him and catches a miraculous catch of fish. It is interesting that Jesus, who had already proven himself in healing Peter’s mother in law, is not immediately believed by Peter, but he does obey and receives the blessing of obedience. He sees himself for what he is, a sinful man.
His next lesson comes in the aforementioned boat experience contained in Matthew 14. Jesus comes to the disciples who are traveling on a stormy sea walking on the water. The disciples are afraid that the figure coming through the rain is a ghost. Jesus tells the disciples not to be afraid, that it is he coming to them on the waters. Peter however, has to see it to believe it… “Lord, if it is you, tell me to come to you on the water. “ So Peter walks out on the water, only to sink when the experience overwhelms him. Jesus tell him, “You of little faith…” This is his common refrain whenever the disciples fail to understand or believe what Jesus has to say. (Matthew 6:30, 8:26, 14:31, 16:8)
A mere two chapters later, Jesus asks the disciples, “Who do people say that I am?” Peter responds correctly, “You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God!” Jesus praises Peter and begins to explain what being the Christ means, that he will suffer and die at the hands of sinful men. Peter takes it upon himself to rebuke Jesus and in turn is harshly rebuked by Jesus, “Get thee behind me Satan, you have not the things of God in mind, but the things of men.”
Lest we forget, John 13 and the Last Supper, Jesus washes the disciples feet. It is Peter who tries to stop Jesus. “No Lord, it is I who should be washing your feet!” Jesus has to explain to Peter again that he does not understand. Later in John 18:11 on that same night, it is Peter who draws his sword and strikes the left ear of the temple servant. It is Peter who will deny Jesus three times, slipping into the cold, dark, night. It is Peter who returns home to fishing when he learns Jesus is alive. He has screwed up enough to think that he should be a fisherman; a disciple is too much to wish for.
Why, among all Peter’s failures do we see the episode in the boat as a heroic moment, when Peter is again rebuked for lacking faith in the same way Jesus rebukes his disciples whenever they misunderstand or do the wrong thing? Remember, it was doubt, and not faith that lead Peter to step out onto the waters. “If it is you Jesus…”
So we find Peter, in John 21, hiding out, fishing, until he hears a voice on the seashore. “Cast out on the other side of the boat…” and Peter does without question even though he does not recognize Jesus. Then, after a miraculous catch of fish, the beloved disciple realizes, “It is the Lord.” And Peter, jumps into the water… and swims to shore. This is Peter’s heroic moment on the waters. He’s swimming towards Jesus not out of doubt but out of desire. He eats with Jesus, and then Jesus and Peter walk along the shore. Jesus points to the stuff on the seashore, the boat, the nets, the stinky fish. “Peter do you love me more than these?” Peter confesses his love three times, once for every denial on the night of Jesus’ arrest, and takes his place as a disciple. This is the great lesson: it is not the failures that define this great Apostle; it is the great mercy of his Savior.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Epiphany -
E⋅PIPH⋅A⋅NY
–noun, plural -nies. 1. (initial capital letter) a Christian festival, observed on January 6, commemorating the manifestation of Christ to the gentiles in the persons of the Magi; Twelfth-day.
2. an appearance or manifestation, esp. of a deity.
3. a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.
4. a literary work or section of a work presenting, usually symbolically, such a moment of revelation and insight.
------------------------------------------
So, here is an epiphany for you... the Cathedral has been silent far too long. I miss writing as regularly and as randomly as I used to. My life is full of new thoughts and events. New things to ponder but I have not been able to write on them. No wonder this winter seems especially cold, the days especially long, the winter landscape especially unfriendly. This winter has been waiting for a wellspring of creativity.
So let's light the candles to push back the night and again, place our gifts in the Cathedral. It is a new day, a new year, and I just turned 31...
31 hardly seems possible. The other day I was speaking to the youth and mentioning where I was when 9/11 occurred. One of the kids told me... "I was in a cradle." It freaked me the hell out.
Still, things are coming together. I have real furniture. A gym membership. A career. School loans. You name it.
There is also, worship. One of the things that has made me happiest is that being a Pastor, there are rarely a moment of my existence that I do not think about worship. I move from the lofty heights of reflection on the nature and purpose of worship, to the less cerebral concerns of preparing the bulletins. I spend most of my time reflection on how to respond to, and demonstrate your love for... God - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
What an unexpected blessing when it comes to being a pastor! Anyway, beyond that I am excited that Barack Obama will be elected tomorrow, and that our country is changing from the fear based ideologies of the past. I'll be watching the inauguration tomorrow which is currently 18 hours 7 minutes and 46 seconds away.
I'll send another blog tomorrow! Let the renaissance begin!
–noun, plural -nies. 1. (initial capital letter) a Christian festival, observed on January 6, commemorating the manifestation of Christ to the gentiles in the persons of the Magi; Twelfth-day.
2. an appearance or manifestation, esp. of a deity.
3. a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.
4. a literary work or section of a work presenting, usually symbolically, such a moment of revelation and insight.
------------------------------------------
So, here is an epiphany for you... the Cathedral has been silent far too long. I miss writing as regularly and as randomly as I used to. My life is full of new thoughts and events. New things to ponder but I have not been able to write on them. No wonder this winter seems especially cold, the days especially long, the winter landscape especially unfriendly. This winter has been waiting for a wellspring of creativity.
So let's light the candles to push back the night and again, place our gifts in the Cathedral. It is a new day, a new year, and I just turned 31...
31 hardly seems possible. The other day I was speaking to the youth and mentioning where I was when 9/11 occurred. One of the kids told me... "I was in a cradle." It freaked me the hell out.
Still, things are coming together. I have real furniture. A gym membership. A career. School loans. You name it.
There is also, worship. One of the things that has made me happiest is that being a Pastor, there are rarely a moment of my existence that I do not think about worship. I move from the lofty heights of reflection on the nature and purpose of worship, to the less cerebral concerns of preparing the bulletins. I spend most of my time reflection on how to respond to, and demonstrate your love for... God - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
What an unexpected blessing when it comes to being a pastor! Anyway, beyond that I am excited that Barack Obama will be elected tomorrow, and that our country is changing from the fear based ideologies of the past. I'll be watching the inauguration tomorrow which is currently 18 hours 7 minutes and 46 seconds away.
I'll send another blog tomorrow! Let the renaissance begin!
Friday, May 09, 2008
The good news is...
So General Conference of the United Methodist Church met again this year. Of course primary on the agenda was the debate over full inclusion of homosexual persons into the clergy and life of the church. The good news is that the rules didn't change. We are so thankful that our rulebook is safe from the "liberal element" and the "homosexual agenda". We are so fortunate to have the Confessing Movement and the Insititute for Religion and Democracy to protect the Book of Discipline!
True, some might say that the people are more important than a canon law book.. Some misguided persons might say that souls are more important than legal code and that perhaps, IF homosexuality is a sin we should invest time in researching a healthy, rational, and sane treatment to provide healing. Perhaps something that is based on psychology as well as prayer and not based in theophostic heresies. However the Gospel teaches that the law is first and that people are second. That's why Jesus was such good friends with the Pharisees!
So I want to send my thanks to our modern day pharisees! Thank you all of you for keeping the Book of Discipline safe from this generation's outcasts! Well Done!
True, some might say that the people are more important than a canon law book.. Some misguided persons might say that souls are more important than legal code and that perhaps, IF homosexuality is a sin we should invest time in researching a healthy, rational, and sane treatment to provide healing. Perhaps something that is based on psychology as well as prayer and not based in theophostic heresies. However the Gospel teaches that the law is first and that people are second. That's why Jesus was such good friends with the Pharisees!
So I want to send my thanks to our modern day pharisees! Thank you all of you for keeping the Book of Discipline safe from this generation's outcasts! Well Done!
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Daily Reading and Reflection- The Rule of Saint Benedict
PROLOGUE FROM THE RULE OF SAINT BENEDICT
Hence the Lord says in the Gospel,
"Whoever listens to these words of Mine and acts upon them,
I will liken to a wise person
who built a house on rock.
The floods came,
the winds blew and beat against that house,
and it did not fall,
because it had been founded on rock" (Matt. 7:24-25).
Having given us these assurances,
the Lord is waiting every day
for us to respond by our deeds to His holy admonitions.
And the days of this life are lengthened
and a truce granted us for this very reason,
that we may amend our evil ways.
As the Apostle says,
"Do you not know that God's patience is inviting you to repent" (Rom. 2:4)?
For the merciful Lord tells us,
"I desire not the death of the sinner,
but that the sinner should be converted and live" (Ezech. 33:11).
I love this interplay that Benedict seems to have between the promises of God and the deeds of the believer. A protestant might read this and say it is works righteousness but notice how he frames this. From God's promises, spring righteous acts, holiness, and transformation. It is as if, all of the Christian life is just a river of goodness flowing down from God. Notice that for Benedict, goodness in the Christian person is first initiated by God's assurances. That our lives are constantly lived in response to God rather than reaching up to God. For Benedict all the goodness of the monastic practice of faith as an act of harmony with God.
Hence the Lord says in the Gospel,
"Whoever listens to these words of Mine and acts upon them,
I will liken to a wise person
who built a house on rock.
The floods came,
the winds blew and beat against that house,
and it did not fall,
because it had been founded on rock" (Matt. 7:24-25).
Having given us these assurances,
the Lord is waiting every day
for us to respond by our deeds to His holy admonitions.
And the days of this life are lengthened
and a truce granted us for this very reason,
that we may amend our evil ways.
As the Apostle says,
"Do you not know that God's patience is inviting you to repent" (Rom. 2:4)?
For the merciful Lord tells us,
"I desire not the death of the sinner,
but that the sinner should be converted and live" (Ezech. 33:11).
I love this interplay that Benedict seems to have between the promises of God and the deeds of the believer. A protestant might read this and say it is works righteousness but notice how he frames this. From God's promises, spring righteous acts, holiness, and transformation. It is as if, all of the Christian life is just a river of goodness flowing down from God. Notice that for Benedict, goodness in the Christian person is first initiated by God's assurances. That our lives are constantly lived in response to God rather than reaching up to God. For Benedict all the goodness of the monastic practice of faith as an act of harmony with God.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Adulthood and Great Deals on Furniture
So these past few weeks have been bloody. My psyche feels absolutely bruised by all the crap that has been thrown around lately. Oh don't get me wrong, ministry is fine and my life is fine. It's just been tough you know?
In the past few weeks every member of my family have been in the hospital. Most notably my sister Cathy who after experiencing Kidney failure has been on dialysis and added to the transplant list. She's getting along and so am I but the entire situation could best be summed up by a question my nephew Logan asked my sister when he got home from school. "So Mom, who went into the hospital today?" Pretty astute for a second grader.
On the other hand I just bought a beautiful armoir at a second hand furniture store that is one of the most beautiful things I could possibly imagine. Follow that with an $1100 coffee table I bought a few days later on sale for $250. What a fantastic deal!!! It has a marble top and must weight at least 80 pounds! However, it has made coming home such an unexpected pleasure you know. I think I might be developing an addiction to buying furniture. It took me ten months to pay for my armoir but now that it is home I want to go out and buy something else.
I also turned 30 in January and it kind of freaked me out. Coming home each day to hand me down furniture that was falling apart made me feel like I was behind my age. You're supposed to have crappy furniture and empty rooms in college. So I am happy to be getting rid of the milkcrates and exchanging them for actual pieces of furniture. It makes me feel like I am at the right place in my life you know?
I am also so proud of my youth group! What a fantastic group of kids! So that is a quick biographical sketch of what's been going on lately.
In my next blog I'll write about a research project I've been doing.
In the past few weeks every member of my family have been in the hospital. Most notably my sister Cathy who after experiencing Kidney failure has been on dialysis and added to the transplant list. She's getting along and so am I but the entire situation could best be summed up by a question my nephew Logan asked my sister when he got home from school. "So Mom, who went into the hospital today?" Pretty astute for a second grader.
On the other hand I just bought a beautiful armoir at a second hand furniture store that is one of the most beautiful things I could possibly imagine. Follow that with an $1100 coffee table I bought a few days later on sale for $250. What a fantastic deal!!! It has a marble top and must weight at least 80 pounds! However, it has made coming home such an unexpected pleasure you know. I think I might be developing an addiction to buying furniture. It took me ten months to pay for my armoir but now that it is home I want to go out and buy something else.
I also turned 30 in January and it kind of freaked me out. Coming home each day to hand me down furniture that was falling apart made me feel like I was behind my age. You're supposed to have crappy furniture and empty rooms in college. So I am happy to be getting rid of the milkcrates and exchanging them for actual pieces of furniture. It makes me feel like I am at the right place in my life you know?
I am also so proud of my youth group! What a fantastic group of kids! So that is a quick biographical sketch of what's been going on lately.
In my next blog I'll write about a research project I've been doing.
Monday, March 03, 2008
Regular Blogging...
I will make no promises... but I would like to begin blogging regularly again. I miss this world entirely to much. Especially since I think I have gotten the hang of many aspects of my ministry that have thus far eluded me. I am also in a hopeful frame of mind due in no small part to many hours of sleep I have had today. Yesterday I returned from Michigan with the youth group, and today I rested the entire day away. I didn' even do the dishes that have been staring at me for a week. I still feel tired but I know that when I go to bed tonite tomorrow will find me refreshed. So I am hopeful for a day of full energy. Days that have been far to few lately.
Hope is the operative word here though. My sister, Cathy, who is one of my wisest and most wonderful of counselors has been very ill. It has not been in any way easy and does not appear to be letting up. She did return to work today and is out of the hospital but the prognosis isn't good. But I continue to hope...
A couple years ago I had what I described as "The Fullest Lent Ever". This year has been the "Longest Lent Ever". Alot of wilderness and desert lately.
However I have a funny little story that might demonstrate the immutability of hope. I have this cactus that for some reason is not doing well. In fact, I think my dark green thumb has degraded to a black thumb and I'm going to be a plant killer soon. However, even though this cactus looks bad, the other day it flowered. I've never seen a cactus like this flower before and it is helping me to realize that no matter how dark it seems, God,is still here working things out.
So I have hope... that immutable and undying thing that flowers even the desert.
Hope is the operative word here though. My sister, Cathy, who is one of my wisest and most wonderful of counselors has been very ill. It has not been in any way easy and does not appear to be letting up. She did return to work today and is out of the hospital but the prognosis isn't good. But I continue to hope...
A couple years ago I had what I described as "The Fullest Lent Ever". This year has been the "Longest Lent Ever". Alot of wilderness and desert lately.
However I have a funny little story that might demonstrate the immutability of hope. I have this cactus that for some reason is not doing well. In fact, I think my dark green thumb has degraded to a black thumb and I'm going to be a plant killer soon. However, even though this cactus looks bad, the other day it flowered. I've never seen a cactus like this flower before and it is helping me to realize that no matter how dark it seems, God,is still here working things out.
So I have hope... that immutable and undying thing that flowers even the desert.
Friday, December 28, 2007
Rewriting my Life
I have never given a sermon I haven't written and rewritten at least five times. My Christmas Eve Sermon got three rewrites before I finally delivered it. Six hours before the service I was rewriting the sermon for the last time. Is it finished yet? I'm still not sure.
My friend Jeana Clark once said that we never finished our papers in seminary, we merely abandoned them. I believe sermons are the same way.
So right now I am in the process of a major rewrite of my life. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I turn 30 next week and find a huge part of my personality unsatisfied and restless. Maybe it has something to do with the new ministry position or the fact that my dog has decided to chew on all my shoes. I don't know. Regardless I am in a season of reconstruction.
This is an odd place to be really - rethinking your theological background and foundations. The things I'm sure of are ten million times more sure (Nicene Creed, Methodistm), but everything else is in flux. The odd thing is that I wonder what people who are in my life now will still be there when I reach the other side of all this. Who will still care and who will write me off as a heretic, a conservative fascist or liberal nutjob? What do I stand to lose or gain in all this rethinking?
It really doesent' matter. I just has to be done. Salve Rex Ioudorum
My friend Jeana Clark once said that we never finished our papers in seminary, we merely abandoned them. I believe sermons are the same way.
So right now I am in the process of a major rewrite of my life. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I turn 30 next week and find a huge part of my personality unsatisfied and restless. Maybe it has something to do with the new ministry position or the fact that my dog has decided to chew on all my shoes. I don't know. Regardless I am in a season of reconstruction.
This is an odd place to be really - rethinking your theological background and foundations. The things I'm sure of are ten million times more sure (Nicene Creed, Methodistm), but everything else is in flux. The odd thing is that I wonder what people who are in my life now will still be there when I reach the other side of all this. Who will still care and who will write me off as a heretic, a conservative fascist or liberal nutjob? What do I stand to lose or gain in all this rethinking?
It really doesent' matter. I just has to be done. Salve Rex Ioudorum
Friday, November 02, 2007
Bleeding Unexpectedly
Sometimes, in the midst of celebrations
I find myself bleeding.
Long pent-up emotions bubble, pour,
seep to the surface of the skin.
It is only when I see the blood that
I realize I'm in pain,
That I've been wounded
Some scrape while walking
Wome unknown cut from paper or
A carelessly worded comment.
A lonesome wound - the unreflected journey.
How did I get that?
How did I get here?
I find myself bleeding.
Long pent-up emotions bubble, pour,
seep to the surface of the skin.
It is only when I see the blood that
I realize I'm in pain,
That I've been wounded
Some scrape while walking
Wome unknown cut from paper or
A carelessly worded comment.
A lonesome wound - the unreflected journey.
How did I get that?
How did I get here?
Carnivale
There is a bowl of fruit on the table
A mask on the chair
Fireworks in the distance
And love--
In the shadows the candles make on the floor
Like hands and bodies
Darkness and light mingle
melting the cracked surface of the walls
Tumbling over the gilded frames, painted faces,
Flesh and Fabric
They are violent lovers these two -
For the joy of one is the death of the other.
A mask on the chair
Fireworks in the distance
And love--
In the shadows the candles make on the floor
Like hands and bodies
Darkness and light mingle
melting the cracked surface of the walls
Tumbling over the gilded frames, painted faces,
Flesh and Fabric
They are violent lovers these two -
For the joy of one is the death of the other.
New Places
The boxes have yet to be unpacked
and I haven't time to do the dishes.
I cannot yet get used to the light
And the air that smells of water
grasshoppers and lake dwelling fish.
The curtainless windows are unknown to me
the settling sounds of the house are strangers
begging entrace into my consciencness
Still I am not lost here
Though I have not yet found
the rhythm of the days and weeks
I'm home but have not yet found my way home.
I think I'll finally arrive where I'm standing
Tomorrow.
and I haven't time to do the dishes.
I cannot yet get used to the light
And the air that smells of water
grasshoppers and lake dwelling fish.
The curtainless windows are unknown to me
the settling sounds of the house are strangers
begging entrace into my consciencness
Still I am not lost here
Though I have not yet found
the rhythm of the days and weeks
I'm home but have not yet found my way home.
I think I'll finally arrive where I'm standing
Tomorrow.
Friday, September 14, 2007
The Genetti
So a few weeks ago I went to Pennsylvania to see the wedding of James and Michelle Wooster. We had a wonderful time. It was like an Asbury reunion and I met a new friend named Mark whom I've kept up correspondence with since last week.
So anyway, on Friday I stayed at this old fashioned and haunted hotel called the Genetti in Williamsport, PA. It was so totally cool. It was late, I was tired, so I went straight to my room and found this welcome letter on my pillow just like you would find at any hotel.
Now usually I don't read these but I read this one because I thought it might have some of the hotel's history... instead, what I got was a benediction. I copy it here so that everyone can read it...
"To our guest -- Because this hotel is a human institution to serve people, and not solely a money making organization, we hope that God will grant you peace and rest while you are under our roof.
May this hotel be you 'second' home. May those you love be near you in thoughts and dreams. Even though we may not get to know you, we hope that you will be comfortable and happy as if you were in your own home.
May the business that brought you our way prosper. May every call you make and every message you receive add to your joy. When you leave, may your journey be safe.
We are all travelers. From 'birth till death' we travel between the eternities. May these days be pleasant for you, profitable for society, helpful for those you meet, and a joy to those who know and love you best."
I remember reading this and thinking... "well... amen." I was utterly floored. I guess I didn't expect that much theological content that late at night. I slept well too... which is unusual for me. All in all... I recommend the Genetti if you're ever in Williamsport.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Upon this Mountain...
So Cathedraldays is on location in North Bend Pennsylvania at the home of my best friend, James Wooster. He's getting married on Saturday to my friend Michelle and I am here to be his best man... (Although my current title is "Awful Man". I worked my way up from "Worst Man". :)My counterpart Erica, "The Maid of Shame", is Michelle's niece.
Anyway, This is my first trip to the mountains of Pennsylvania. It is really quite beautiful here. We've had a wonderful time thus far and tomorrow we are going to the amusement park.
Anyway, James took us on a tour of three of his four churches today. One of which was an absolutely beautiful gothic beauty with 1800''s woodwork and wainscot panelling, Stained glass, stone work, beautiful masonry, an absolute archetectural gem.
Anyway, above are a couple pictures Erica took of Renovo First, the gothic glory, and North Bend, the beautiful white ship on a sea of green mountain.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Hairspray
So, yesterday I went to see the movie "Hairspray" because... well because I love musical theater. It was so much fun! Hilariously funny and I think I have a crush on the girl who played Tracy. Those brown eyes are gorgeous.
The fun thing was everyone in the theater was laughing together. Over and over again, people laughed and chuckled and giggled. And there is something wonderful about that. The last time I heard an audience laugh that hard was when I went to see "Groundhog Day" with my sister.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Music
So, is there anything more wonderful than finding that album or that song that rattles your soul? Oh it has been so long since I've had this experience with anything that calls itself "Christian Music". However, recently, I've uncovered a few bands that absolutely rock.
This leads me to an exposition on what music should be. You see we live in an age where the music has turned into corrupted, prepackaged, hastily produced musical snot. It's about as riveting as a head cold.
Christian musicians however, are much worse about merely mass producing copied sounds than most secular artists are. It's like we find the next popular sound and then steal it without ever bringing any new vitality or validity to it.
Music should be the ultimate sensory experience. It should have no boundaries at all. The entire world of sound should be used to make music as interesting as possible. Every genre, every instrument, every beat and bass line should be experimented with, stirred and mixed together until something completely new is born. Most Christian artists don't want to do the work apparently.
I lament the loss of the Bach like souls who seek out new and interesting sounds. Especially when Christian people are supposed to be the most creative... since they worship a God who created all.
This leads me to an exposition on what music should be. You see we live in an age where the music has turned into corrupted, prepackaged, hastily produced musical snot. It's about as riveting as a head cold.
Christian musicians however, are much worse about merely mass producing copied sounds than most secular artists are. It's like we find the next popular sound and then steal it without ever bringing any new vitality or validity to it.
Music should be the ultimate sensory experience. It should have no boundaries at all. The entire world of sound should be used to make music as interesting as possible. Every genre, every instrument, every beat and bass line should be experimented with, stirred and mixed together until something completely new is born. Most Christian artists don't want to do the work apparently.
I lament the loss of the Bach like souls who seek out new and interesting sounds. Especially when Christian people are supposed to be the most creative... since they worship a God who created all.
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