The world is sometimes too much for me... I know that there are those who say that "it's all small stuff." However, I find it hard to look on creation and believe that. Lately, I've had this odd feeling like I am walking through mud up to my knees. Everything is so much harder than it should be. Everything remains just out of reach except for a constant lonely/empty kind of feeling. Every breath seems like too much trouble.
I more afraid of the dark than usual...
5 comments:
Find something that makes you happy and do it as much as possible. The emptiness is normal, you need to find something to fill it with.
It's so wild how honesty and vulnerability invite-- cry out for---empathy, but most often only get advice.
No worries - let me put it to you all this way. This particular blog is dark I know... but, in an effort to explain. I suffer night terrors and lately, I have been having more bad nights than usual to the extent that my sleeping pattern is off. (AKA I stay up late at night and sleep in.) I do this because when you wake up terrified it better in the daytime than at night. However, this coupled with anxieties relating to my vocation, family's health, the ever present weight loss goal, financial difficulties, the fact that Dr. Phil may have jumped the shark, and Condoleeza Rice's "election" by the senate (don't get me started)I feel like I am trudging through a swamp... that's what this blog was about. However, it doesn't matter. What matters is that this is a common experience for God's people. In a way this was my own Psalmic exploration of the feelings I have been experiencing lately.
i hear you. and while i don't know exactly how you feel, i am often lost in my own black fog. so many lonely people. and "people" isn't even a good word for it, b/c "people," suggests a certain sense of togetherness. perhaps "persons" is a better description for the separateness--the aloneness--that we all too often feel. the mud. the fog. oh god, let it not turn to ice.
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