Taking off Before Taking Off

So, Montpelier UMC. It is, a growing, living, breathing, vibrant congregation. This Eastertide, we have had, five new members by transfer, three upcoming baptisms over the next two weeks, our VBS is coming together, we are building a new youth group after an eight year hiatus, the nursery has been renovated, and the finances are stable.

And now, now that hope is sprouting up from the floorboards. Now... I'm leaving. I find myself begging God not to let the momentum die here and that this congregation will continue to take deep breaths of the Spirit and enliven it's heart for ministry. I'm also stressed, about the transition and everything I've got to finish up here.

Still, God is amazing. I am astounded at what he can do.

Having a bad night...

So, I've had an okay day despite the fact that I woke up in a bad mood. However, right now, I'm feeling... well there is no other word for it... Lonely. Ugh. I need something to do. Days have becme a bit monotonous lately. I'm overwhelmed and I have a thousand projects to figure out before I leave Montpelier. More than that I'm overwhelmed with a bunch of paperwork. I need a friend here. Someone to spend some time with... Oh well, tomorrow will be better.

So About That...

So, I was going to write a new poem for every day of Lent. Let's just chalk all this up to the best laid plans of mice and men.

Lent took a few unexpected turns. Things at Montpelier First are going gangbusters... We're starting a youth group, our children's ministries have doubled in size... rooms are beling cleaned out and rennovated the sanctuary is filling up... I have two Baptisms coming up and... I'm moving.

The call came in the middle of Lent and I was offered an appointment. Two appointments in fact. For weeks I couldn't tell anyone and I felt like there was this huge blockade between myself and my congregation. This thing that I could't share with them. The intake meetings, the travel, and now I can finally speak it out loud.

Just when things are taking off here I'm moving to Atwood Indiana to be the Senior Pastor of Aldersgate UMC (1/3 time) and the Youth and Young Adult Pastor at Warsaw First UMC (2/3 time). I'll be on staff at Warsaw first with two other pastors. Its the biggest church I've ever served. Montpelier hasn't had a pastor assigned yet but I'm sure that will come any day now.

Regardless my days have been spent rediscovering my inner youth guy. It's been a few years since I've done youth ministry. I'm excited about the new possibilities and overwhelmed at the same time. Warsaw also has an arts district and a playhouse. I can grow a few more skills there for a future art ministry.

More than that I am happy the Montpelier is filling with hope and I wanted to share the most important thing I've learned here.

I've learned that the biggest part of ministry has nothing to do with me and everything about God. I look around and find I've done so little and can only point towards God. It's his work. Completely and totally.

Not a bad lesson... in the meantime... until the day I move from my house... I am committed to Montpelier. Although it is quite painful that they have already begun the process of pulling away from me.

Lent- Day 9

Upon this mountain
On these stones

On seashore
Field and vale

Forest, Fountain
Hills and Field

I declare that I am loved.

On this planet,
On these oceans

Volcano, magma
Shifting Earth

Orbit, moon
Solestial Voyager

I declare that I am loved.

In this smattering of starlight
On Galaxys tilted wonder

In the clash of planets moving
Stars escaping dust and ring.

In this universe of distance
Darkness light and Energy

I declare that I am Loved.

Lent - Day 8

Sinai

Upon this mountain
On these stones
The Hand of God Hovers
Etching Law from Chaos

Not A Burden
But a Blessing
Not a Darkness
But a Flame

Carry these Commanments
Share these Words
Build my People
Bless this World

Lent - Day 7

Promethius

Fire for Mortals
Clay for the Gods
Sculptured Fear
And Secrecy

Devoured by Sunset
Bounded Sacrifice
Punished Messiah
Suffering Savior

All for the sake of Light

Lent - Day Six

I thirst in this desert place looking for experience of God. Seeking among the stones and temple mounts a place to stand and proclaim my reality. I desire divinity all my own, a power and my own dominion. In this state I am given only graveyards to rule.

I would not last forty days in wilderness alone as I am only barely living now.

Lent - Day Five

Church - Haiku

The Organ Plays On
The Congregants Drone Joyless
Their Song is Still Heard

Lent - Day Four

"My father was a wandering aramean..." - Deuteronomy 26:5

My father
Working Man
Steam and Coal
Built our World On Hardwork and Humor
Gathered us under his provision
Held us strong
In arms that never knew "Father"

One of ten
His Father never lasted
Long enough to see him
As a man any man would want to be

My father
Built our World on Hardwork and Humor

Lent - Day Three

Road Weary

"Rage, rage against the dying of the light." - Dylan Thomas

Close of day
Sunset
Diminish - Breathe -
Cold stars and twilight

Rage not at the end of the day
But all through.

Lent - Day Two

Today I went to a required continuing education event in Kokomo. "Defining Pastoral Boundaries" all about sexual harassment and misconduct. I feel tired and really slimy now that it's over. I don't know why. So here is a poem about sexuality.

Profound

When we reach up to
To push through
To make our way into intimacy
Coupled and Trusting
We find bodies are enigmas
Puzzles to solve

We manipulate
Feel the pieces
Discern pictures
In sound and heat
We try to find
Pattern, Rhythm
Seeking answers
To secret questions.

Ash Wednesday -

So, today is Ash Wednesday and we are beginning our journey towards towards Easter. So this year for my Lenten discipline I will be writing a new poem every day of Lent and Posting it here. On days I'm away from my computer I will still write a poem and post here the day after.

Invocation:

It is a small small thing
Death
It is a little thing
Mortality
So little and so much can fell them
So strong and weak can overcome
So simple so profound may know them

Paradise in Ashes
Heaven in Oil
Blaring Paradoxes Side by Side
Strange Companions on a Journey Upward.

Football Fan

So I never considered football to be all that much fun. Until I watched the recent Colts/New England AFC Championship game. Then I was hooked.

I always told people I favored the Colts, and I never swerved... but I can't say I paid much attention one way or another. However, the NE/Colts game was so exciting I spent the days leading up to the Superbowl reading the Colts Website.

So I think in just a couple games I became a football fan. This is quite surprising really. I'm a poet, an artist, and football fan. People really do change.

January 6th

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEE!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEE!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SOMEONE FANTASTIC!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEE!

AND MANY MORE!

Lonelygirl15

So, I have a new interest that began a few weeks ago. I like millions before me have become interested in the continuing fictional saga of Lonelygirl15 and her compatriots. YouTube, the new forum for online creativity and derision. A place where people can come and create, and others can then mock what has been created.

BOOM Interviews

So earlier this month I had my Board of Ordained Ministry Interviews. It went really well and I am headed toward commissioning. As the interviews approached I got really really anxious and nervous. I thought back to when I began the process in the Winter of 2005... and realized... I've been headed towards this interview... for 11 years.

Eleven years of work come down to one hour in a room with strangers. People who know me only by what is written in my examination questions. Now that I have passed the interview, the rest of my life seems to stretch in front of me... I begin to wonder.

What's next? I still don't have an answer to that question... so this Christmas... I'm looking for a guiding star, to lead me to where the savior waits. This is quite exciting don't you think???

I wanted to do this again.

IPod
Instructions: Go to your iPod and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question.

How does the world see you?
Till We Reach that Day - From Ragtime

Will I have a happy life?
Happiness Hotel - The Muppet Album

What do my friends really think of me?
The Solid Rock - Passion Hymns

Do girls have secret crushes on me?
Carnival Town - Norah Jones

How can I make myself happy?
Socializing - Italian for Travelers

What should I do with my life?
Come to the Table - Michael Card

Will I ever have children?
Wheels of a Dream - Ragtime

What is some good advice for me?
Call to Arms - The Insyderz

How will I be remembered?
Joyous Light - Passion Hymns

What is my signature dance song?
Back to you - John Mayer

What do I think my current theme song is?
Harry's Wondrous World - Harry Potter Soundrrack

What song will play at my funeral?
Your Fault - Into the Woods

What type of women do I like?
I've got you under my skin - Michael Buble

What is my day going to be like?
Sing, Sing, Sing - Swing: The Lee-Press On Nails

Light one Candle... Christ is Coming

So, we are in pre-advent launch. I keep staring at my advent wreath and its lovely candles, admiring my Christmas tree... and thinking... how exciting it is, that Christ is coming. That is one of the amazing early themes in Advent. Christ is coming... he's coming to set everything right, both in a memorial sense (Nativity) and in a eschatological sense (Second Coming).

So this Advent I want Jesus to change my life in new ways. I want my eyes to turn to him and leave behind forever the "glamor of sin". I want to adore him.

Adoration, is such a beautiful word. An even more beautiful act... I wonder what form my adoration will take this year? What does adoration look like?

You may not understand this post right now... but you will.

About Fantasy...

So, yesterday was halloween and our church sponsors a "Trick or Treat Night". (No letters please... for most of us its a cultural holiday and nothing more.) Kids come in, get a glow bracelet, a bag of candy and have thier picture taken. The picture is sent to the kids after halloween. So, my friend Christy dressed up like a pilgrim, we had a crusader, a monk, and Julius Ceasar. You know who I dressed up as? A wizard from Harry Potter (Again, no lettes). I even have a pretend wand (I mean it no letters. God is not going to put the smack down on me for reading a fiction book.)

The event was alot of fun for all of us and I am always amazed to see what kids come up with for halloween. There is something about being released to wear a costume... If you could be anything... what would it be?

I dressed as a wizard... because I love the idea of magical worlds and adventure. Ever since I was a child I remember playing out imagination.I used to pretend I was in Narnia, and that Aslan would always be there to save me. Even today in my flights of fancy I can imagine a thousand scenarios and stories of castles, wizards and magic. I also imagine what it would be like to be on the stage again...

So tell me... what do our dreams and fantasy lives say about us?

My Desk...

Okay, so it's 11:30 at night, and I am bored and suffering yet another bout with insomnia... so I decided to clean my desk in my study at the church. Let me tell you... filling out all that ordination paperwork, doctrine books, papers upon papers... all piling up on my desk... I forgot what color my desktop is. It is absolutely unbelieveable.

My friend James says that if you want to know his state of mind... look at his room. Is it clean? If so, everything is okay. Looking at my desk, I am becoming okay again. As i clean off the surface I feel less and less burdened.

Another friend, JD says that all of life can be understood through scraps... here are a few of mine...


ARTIFACT #1 - Pak-a-sak receipt $2.27 Donut and Diet Coke

ARTIFACT #2 - "Welcome to Preschool" Letter

ARTIFACT #3 - "Doctrinal Examination Question" Describe your personal experience of God..."

ARTIFACT #4 - "108 Wildwood Court" scrawled on a post-it. No idea what city or who lives there.

ARTIFACT #5 - HYMN "I know my Redeemer Lives"

Do you have any ideas how many layers I had to get through to get to this hymn? There it was among the bottle caps and papers...

It feels good to clean.